Thursday, 31 January 2008

Extreme weather warning

This morning there were premature daffodils and over eager squirrels looking confused all over the place, convinced spring had sprung. This evening they're all safely frozen solid under a blizzard. It's been a long day.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

A quick cut and paste

I'm sure it's been done before, but it amused me.

Gone fission

As scientists accidentally discover that by electrically stimulating the hypothalamus they can help retrieve deeply submerged memories, the possibility emerges that we might remember how we got ourselves into this mess. In the meantime...

Tuesday, 29 January 2008


Californian rocket farmers find selling water more profitable than growing food, and the UK government turns to the burger flippers to solve another ongoing education crisis.

Monday, 28 January 2008

Profits of Doom

Shell's profits top $27 BILLION, whilst Exxon-Mobil near $40 BILLION, amid record oil prices and tacit industry admissions of peaking production. By the way, 65% of the price of petrol at UK pumps goes to the government in taxes, so there's plenty of money for invading other people's oilfields.

Sunday, 27 January 2008

More Invisible Elbows

Business awaits a clear and compulsory regulatory framework and a predictable carbon pricing mechanism - a level playing field - before committing itself to investing in the future of our little ol' planet. Meanwhile, the UK Government balks at imposing even the most modest carbon tariffs on carbon-heavy goods imported from the US - terrified of letting go of the dogma of unfettered markets, lest the Emperor expose his nakedness. So Capitalists ask for Social-Democratic government intervention whilst "democratic" government asks for more capitalist fundamentalism, wasting time that we simply don't have. Our Betters, you've gotta love 'em!.

Saturday, 26 January 2008


A new call has been made this weekend -from a group of geologists- to officially recognise the dawn of a new geological epoch. formalising the fact that we have officially trashed the planet. Three cheers for us - as smart as yeast!

Friday, 25 January 2008

Ernest nonsense.

At Davos, Gordon Brown says that Capitalism is the answer to everything and we should let the markets decide - even though we know that the markets are blundering, selfish bastards with the good judgement of the criminally insane. And Bono urges world leaders to cast their minds back to the last set of cynically made and quickly broken promises - the millenium development goals - which we are all supposed to have forgotten about.

Thursday, 24 January 2008

EUmissions targets

The EU announces its plans and targets to, if not combat, then at least gesture rudely in the general direction of climate change. Throbgoblins welcomes the move to increase renewables and to slow the biofuel bandwagon. Having said that...leaving most of the solution in the (invisible) hands of the market which fashioned the problem in the first place seems a tad foolish, but, in the absence of an organ grinder we must make do with monkeys.

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Readham and Wheape Plc

Whist all else crumbles, it's a pretty safe bet that someone somewhere will still want to blow something up or commit some sort of war crime, so Defense contractors are confident that whatever happens to the man on the Clapham omnibus, the man in the
Challenger tank will still be generating funds.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

Bombs for freedom.

Today's news - that a group of ex-chiefs of staff of 5 NATO countries, led by Uncle Sam, have outlined how the "indispensable instrument" of first strike pre-emptive nuclear attack should remain an integral and explicit part of NATO planning in order to secure access to depleting resources (amongst other ambitions) - should come as no surprise. Nor should the "simplifying" of decision making - which will allow some states (I wonder which ones?) to proceed with hostile actions without the consent of the alliance as a whole. They're only saying out loud what is usually only whispered - lest it scare the horses. Not a blueprint for a caring sharing denouement to the carbon age, then?

Monday, 21 January 2008

A taste of things to come?

I had a nice little strip about the London Zoo "EDGE" list all thought out, but the savage irony of a 21st century arab people without fuel to meet their basic needs- because of an Imperial superpower's insistence on total control of their region through a client state deemed unaccountable to international law -just sort of caved that idea in.

Sunday, 20 January 2008

Blog in a saucepan!

You know how it is - you're so busy accumulating your plastic novelty ephemera and digital knee-tremblers that apocalyptic global meltdown sort of sneaks up on you. Gotta larf, intcha?

Friday, 18 January 2008 awful lot of cattle in Brazil.

Deforestation of the Amazon rainforest has picked up speed again after briefly slowing - whilst big business gathered its forces for another assault. Despite (ie-because of) its HUGE ethanol market, Brazil remains one of the big 4 Carbon criminal states - 3/4 of it's emissions coming from deforestation and its aftermath. Still - cheap beef, eh? Fantastic!

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Cheering up cantankerous Frank

The Yangtze may be slowing to a heavily polluted, lifeless trickle, but as long as we can still get plastic novelties and cheap fashion items courtesy of a booming Chinese economy, all's right with the world.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008


Today the chair of the Sustainable Development Commission, Sir Jonathon Porritt - made it clear that the UK Government's suspiciously enthusiastic rush to nuclear is BOGUS, as the young folk used to say.

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Bye-bye birdy

The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds warns that habitats are in the process of shifting 550 km north east and that the UK may lose 3/4 of it's native bird-life, while flood warnings return to areas rapidly becoming accustomed to more "adventurous" weather conditions!

Monday, 14 January 2008

humming while Rome burns

With a 70% increase in demand expected by 2030 the American Automobile Industry is damned if it's gonna rely on foreign imports and it's damned if it's gonna compromise on the American way of life. It's damned, anyway. A Green Hummer! You couldn't make it up!

Sunday, 13 January 2008

New Clear Dawn, again.

An enormous amount of money is changing hands. It's nice to know that it's all been thoroughly thought through.

Saturday, 12 January 2008

Cantankerous Frank on a daily basis?

This week has seen a new economy car launched to encourage cyclists and moped-ers in the global south to up the carbon ante;a relaunch of the nuclear programme (that strip with-held for now); Sir David King blaming greens for alienating consumers and me noticing that BAE were planning a range of eco-friendly weapons of war (I shit you not). I've been laid off with a bad back all week so I've been practicing the art of the short-form strip, so I'm on decent form for my new "Ethical Consumer" gig. If there's anybody out there, some feedback would be apreciated.

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Question Time?

The latitude available for actually challenging current consumption models on mainstream "analysis" programmes is notoriously narrow - at least it's notorious among those who have already given it some thought. Nobody else has noticed, so shhhhh!

Sunday, 6 January 2008

a chocolate fireguard too far?

I'm not so sure if this one works, but what the hell. It's not like I have customers to disappoint!

I'm not so sure if this one works, but what the hell. It's not like I have customers to disappoint!

Saturday, 5 January 2008

More cake, anyone?

One doesn't like to regurgitate old formulas, but...

Thursday, 3 January 2008

TOO MUCH Chocolate Fireguard

How many New Year's resolutions have already foundered on the reefs of habit? My own intention is to squander more of my time on these things. It keeps me off the barley wine and stops me browsing where I shouldn't. Now if I can just kick the crack...

Cantankerous Frank talks turkey

What a pretty pickle we find ourselves in; locked into an economy that demands total commitment to unsustainable levels of perpetual consumption whilst our supply chains become ever more expensive, exhausted and exposed. Still - can't lose face by turning away now. Don't blink. Poker face. Can't let those lefty bastards know they've got something on us.
Throbgoblins International have all been set Thomas Homer-Dixon's "The Upside of Down" for homework and will be asking themselves questions about it later. In the meantime here is a comic about climate economics that doesn't work as well as it should. Any suggestions welcome.

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

What we didn't get for Christmas.

You can take thousands of horses to water but you can't make them think. It would've been nice if they could've at least censured the US for planetary negligence, but we can't risk upsetting Georgie boy, can we?! We all have to pretend. Let's be nice, now. No impolitic language or other anarchic shenanegans. Just get back into the shops for the Sales and start buying stuff again. You've had a few days off. Now SPEND, you mindless cogs, SPEND. (I'm sorry. I've not been well.)