Surgical Enhancement

I fully realise that there is nothing clever or original in pointing out that - by and large -men are undiscerning, Pavlovian bonobos, but it is too rich a seam of comic possibilities to walk away from. Don't get me wrong, I am as easily and unproductively distracted as the next man. I command no moral high ground. But the terms and conditions of my official Ministry of Culture Artistic licence release me from any requirements vis a vis ethical consistency, containing as it does an annually renewable hypocricy permit (available at post offices and most branches of WH Smith). I hope this amuses as many as it offends.