We at Throbgoblins International have put our top scientists to work decoding the genes governing money-grubbing sociopathic megalomania amongst pond-scum. It's exacting work but the potential profits are astronomical. Every time a captain of industry or a cabinet minister wants to reproduce, they'll have to pay us a reasonable fee dictated by the market! It's only fair.
Throbgoblins International have experienced a bit of a slump of late. One shouldn't think about this sort of thing too much. Never mind. Backwards and downwards. Food staples are on the exponential rise, as are commodities across the board. The middle class world is scrambling for possession of the good things in life, and condemning the poor world to the shit-end of a very big stick. Sir Richard Branson once again gestures wildly in the face of reason with a biofuelled Jumbo - announcing to the Global South that it can whistle for its food crops, thankyouverymuch. Perhaps he will be burning the South American maize harvest for the benefit of his space tourists? He should get a good view of his own ego from up there.
At least Tottenham won the Carling Cup (and about time too)- which is grand in itself, (obviously), but also keeps one more piece of silverware out of the thieving clutches of the Kleptocrat Abramovich
Power companies make combined UK profits of 9 billion and of course everybody is up in arms, but in an urgent push to a low carbon economy we must also urgently push for a low carbon culture - which means paying the true cost. Of course that all stands or falls on the re-investment going where it needs to go - and not into the back pockets of private investors. (cut and paste link below)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/centrica-warns-carbon-targets-will-push-bills-up-further-785621.html
I know i've compressed two cheeks of the same gargantumart arse here, but hey - buy one, get one free.
Massive expansion plans are announced that boil down to using overwhelming market leverage to choke farmers and further tighten the strangle hold of the high carbon/high turnover/low price supermarket philosophy. The fact that grain commodities prices are going through the roof does not seem to faze good ol' Mom and Pop Asda. (cut and paste link below)
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/industry_sectors/retailing/article3406148.ece
143 million pounds of ground beef are recalled after the exposure of animal abuse in US abattoirs - which are, of course, normally such easy-going establishments. (Cut and paste link below)
http://www.celsias.com/2008/02/18/cruelty-video-prompts-recall-of-143-million-pounds-of-beef/
While mortgage slaves everywhere heave great sighs of relief at the unexpectedly rapid restart of property stagflation after the first pricks at the bubble, the UK continues to fail spectacularly at adding actual value to some of the most unsustainable housing stock in Europe.
(cut and paste link below)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/feb/18/energy.economy
Somewhat generic, today, but informed by....
Carbon offset schemes are to be safeguarded by a voluntary code of conduct, so as not to interfere with the righteous workings of the market, according to a government consultation document from the department that oversees the third worst renewables record in Europe (above Malta and Luxemburg).
Africa unites to call for an end to the agrofuel land grab that further threatens food and water supplies.
But parts of Canada look forward to a new era as all manner of sub-soil mineral goodies come up for grabs in a rapidly thawing environment.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article3362887.ece
Information on the true state of the world's oceans is pulled together in a comprehensive global scientific study this week. Meanwhile, Tourism-dependent hot-spots around the world begin to awaken to a sea-change in species demographics. The future, it seems, belongs to gloop.
The UK government is putting a lot of money into funding a space-based climate monitoring facility which it can presumably flog to other countries (so they have something technically correct to read while they drown.)
Meanwhile, Uncle Sam is planning to show the Chinese who's boss by conspicuously using it's missile defense system to shoot down a dud spy-satellite, and the Russians are also flexing their inter-continental ballistic muscle as the Great Game recommences.
Oh, and big science once again confirms that it is, indeed, a big universe,- and everything else is very, very, very far away.
Prince Charles has been putting himself about usefully in Brussels - making another plea for significant action on climate change. Noblesse oblige. Unfortunately most of the tabloid red-tops will remain more interested in picking over the bones of his (simpering narcissist of a) dead wife, as the inquest/circus drags on. The doomsday clock ticks, but we're all deafened to it by half-witted court whisperings.
It seems that many proposed remedies for climate change involve destroying existing agrarian societies - where they survive - and replacing them with some variation of globalised capitalism that hinges upon the very same technologies that are causing the problem in the first place. For example - Celebrities, millionaires and western charities are buying up millions of acres of developing world ecosystems, kicking the locals out and installing very profitable carbon trading and tourism regimes instead. This makes sense only if one embraces a neo-colonialist agenda that excludes local "undeveloped" peoples from sustainable decision making. It's the same logic that allows small groups of wealthy industrialists to plunge whole nations into illegitimate debt to western banks in the pursuit of Chicago-school shock economics, thus ensuring perpetual continuation of an export based way of life. Meanwhile, Emissions from International shipping continue to soar at much higher than expected rates,and the Tiger is f*cked!
Dismantling our cheap-imported-goods lifestyle is, of course, not negotiable.
Many years ago a friend of mine was given Ken Livingstone's hallucinogenic toads, and released them in Hackney marshes. Which has nothing whatsoever to do with the following, which is actually tomorrow's cartoon.
Whilst researchers predict massive increases in insect numbers and consequent plant damage due to rises in temperature and CO2 levels, business folk remain terrified of an economic downturn that could slow the process down.
The Sustainable Development Commission criticises the big supermarkets for chucking millions of tonnes of food away rather than bother to mark it down. We're all a bunch of lardy, wasteful bastards, by all accounts. Now there's a surprise. We seem to be shipping the poor world's staples over here to turn them into stuff we don't even want. 
On a separate but equally irritating note - we are being asked by the Guardian to rejoice that the Ethiopians are using their agricultural land and water to grow flowers for the love-struck of Europe. It generates foreign exchange. After all, food doesn't grow on trees...!
This cartoon was innocently suggested by the redoubtable Marc Hudson. After I'd finished it a discomfort settled on me that it looked a little TOO familiar. After some googling I discovered that - whoops -I appear to have inadvertently stolen the whole thing from Rudis Muiznieks' CECTIC site, It also has the look of an ANDY SINGER, who would have done it much better. Hence the removal of a by-line. Apologies all 'round. Shame to waste it though....
China is set to overtake the US as the world's largest internet constituency - with a net-citizenship growing faster than its' CO2 output. We all know how keen the big media players, from Murdoch to Google, are to fall into line behind Beijing on the promise of a slice of the pie. Enjoy it while you can.
The lovely Michael O'Leary wants a recession to kill off some competitors and put concerns about our children's welfare on the back burner. Meanwhile, two studies in the journal "Science" confirm once again that putting the entire biosphere in our petrol tanks is a tad foolish.
Whilst World Heritage Site Majuli Island falls into the swollen Brahmaputra as glacial meltwaters flood down from the Himalayas, European power lobbies bitch about having to pay for carbon credits they think they should get for free.
Corporate stooge Dirk Kempthorne's Department of Interior has postponed the legal process of protecting polar bears and their habitat whilst it auctions off millions of acres of polar bear habitat to Bush's pals in the oil industry. It's like a bad film.
No religious sensibilities were deliberately injured during the making of this cartoon.
Only nine tipping points on the NAS list - I'm sure there were thirteen not long ago. Some people will steal anything!
It was damn hard to resist going down the Cervantes route, but I managed it. Apparently Air chief Marshall Sir Jock Stirrup (I wish I'd invented that!)) the chief of defense staff, has stated that we must not allow our radar defense capability to be degraded. (only our environment?) 
As American and French companies eye up the massive pay-day to be had at Sellafield, The Nuclear Installations Inspectorate asks for some basic safety features to be at least considered, if it's not too much trouble.
Government figures show a STAGGERING 0.1% drop in emissions, despite RISES from road transport and energy suppliers (not including the new coal fired non carbon-capture start-up at Kingsnorth) and of course international airline emissions are not even counted. At this rate we'll be where we were yesterday by this time next year. 
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